Words & Lyrics

here i am in no man’s land

i have no plan, i need no plan in no man’s land

park my van, set up my camp

i rid my brand, i play in sand in no man’s land

here i am, it seems i ran

away from what i understand, i reprogram

i’ll be damned to eat the fruit

if i stay stranded as i am in no man’s land

seldom do i follow anybody

do i follow anybody?

do you follow?

do i follow you? do you follow me?

do we follow the same people? do you follow?

seldom do i follow

fall over i hit the bottom

do you hear me? do you follow?

do i follow you? do you follow me? do we follow the same people?

do you follow?

do you follow?

i wanna be what you want me to

i wanna be what you like

someone to call when you’re feeling blue

you don’t need to call every night

you’ve got a lot that’s ahead of you

you’ve got a lot on your mind

i’ve got a lot that i wanna do

places to go, things to find

to find, define

count down the days, what they’re leading to

to celebrate a restart

it’s time to feel like yourself again

pretend to know who you are

you are

i’m here to stay, i’m not leaving you

there may be challenging parts

whatever shape that you need me to

liquified state, liquid heart

so the thrill is gone

no one’s coming

too much going on to feel something

to do nothing at all

so seems you’re not so strong

you’re just some portraits

painted with power, drawn with self importance

i’d like to think that things are looking up

‘cause I’m just tryna feel the way the ocean does

so it’s gone all wrong

you’ve destroyed it

god i hope you feel good knowing how you’ve exploited

you’ve disjointed us now

so sad you’ve gone so long and done so poor

it’s like you’ve not known all along and just ignored it

i’d like to think that things are looking up

but i don’t feel too sure the way the oceans flood

i’d like to think that things are looking up

but i don’t feel too sure the way the oceans flood

show some empathy

show me you’ll be hurting

show me that you’ll miss me

i don’t disagree

want this to be easy on you

easy on me

it always will be

always been since autumn

always on the same team

such high density

let me drain this water

let me let me release

share your energy

show me down the allies you’d hang out as a teen

walk me through the streets

take over my body, take my eyes take my feet

shut and in the green

begging to unwind if something here could guide me

to a place complete

swinging back and forth until your face and mine meet

my hearts been broken

it’s been broken before

but not by you

i never thought that i would open up that door

but i had to

i had no room

i had to see the other floors

i had to do it

just wishful hoping, wasn’t expecting more

cause i assumed this is the shape we’ve grown into

well boohoo

la la ladididadada dadada

i don’t mind the pine

i don’t mind the pine, do i?

do i?

do i?

do i?

i’ll make you smaller, shrink you down to a size

where you blend in to all the other people passing through my life

you’ll fit right in

you’ll look like them

you won’t stand out or be the light

there’s nothing to it

i’ll be the author and i’ll keep you alive

i’ll write about how i no longer think of you

oh boohoo

and i said la la ladididadada dadada

i don’t mind the pine

i don’t mind the pine, do i?

do i?

do i?

do i?

do i?

ladadadooddoodadodoaddaaa

i can’t stop thinking about

how bad I want you around

and I know that this is so new

i guess I’m overwhelmed by you

i guess we’ll figure it out

what’s time if nothing but counting days til i wake up with you?

wonder if you’re counting too

i’m just so overwhelmed by you

so i’ll take it slow and let you know

i’ve never been so comfortable

so calm yet so out of control

so clear yet out of focus

stuck on my mind

holding me tight

and hardly any time’s gone by but i’m feeling inspired

in your arms i could die

i feel I’m running my mouth

i can’t stop talking about how i wasn't looking for you

never would think to be true

in case i’m losing my ground

hang tight and hold me accountable for the things that i do

i don’t want to play the fool

i am just so overwhelmed

i’ll hold my breath and watch my step

allow myself open again

to live inside the intimate and hope it isn’t broken

stuck on my mind

holding me tight

and hardly any time’s gone by but i’m feeling inspired

in your arms I could die

things i used to know but have forgotten

things that i continue to forget

you were a reminder that i’ve rotten

died then decomposed and grown again

i am just a million different people

all doing a million different things

some of them are good others are evil

most of them i haven’t even met

onto the next

there’s so many of them

picture of what it’s like inside your body

think of what it’s like without a head

nowhere you can process your sensations

feeling is the only thing you get

somewhere far away there is a conscience

something that can hear and see and smell

neutral internalizing all of it

they don’t have a heart they’re just a head

let them connect

don’t be without a head

without a head

without a head

without a

without a

head

head

i don’t want a broken heart

i want it strong, i want it smart

i want the sun, i want the stars

i want the moon, i want m-mars

i want to run as fast as cars

i want to spend time on a farm

i want your love want every part

i want to wake with no alarm

to do my best, to do no harm

to lend a hand, to lend an arm

but sometimes it feels like it is the opposite

as i return to what is real

im forced to face wh-what i feel

and what i don’t

and how to talk

i used to know, but i forgot

i’ve only got a broken heart

i’ve got no sun, i’ve got no stars

i’ve not moon, i don’t have mars

i’ve never spent time on a farm

i’ve got your love, but just a part

i have to wake to an alarm

but often i, i wish it were the opposite

love

it’s what it all boils down to

love

it is why, it is because

because it is the earth that surrounds you

love

it is all that's above -

love

it’s the coin in the fountain

what you wished for, everyone does

because it is the air all around you

love

it is why, it is because

love

love

it’s what it all boils down to

love

it is why, it is because

because it is the earth that surrounds you

love

it is all that's above

love

it’s the warmth of the body

love

it’s the warmth of the sun

my heart screams bare and naked

is that love?

is that enough?

love

changing before me

blue, pink, to gray

isn’t that the perfect way to end a day?

but lovely as it may

it’s soon to go away and restore

a new day, a new score

hear your words forming

i feel the age

wish i didn’t feel i had to say something

cause love you as i may

i’ve had to look away times before

i’ve ignored it before

then i cried so hard

say you try to hard

only go so far

you don’t see the person

cause you don’t see the man

you only see the woman that you claim i am

but call it what you may

it’s always been the same at its core

only trained to conform

i am change, i was born / and i cried so hard

say you try so hard, only go so far

and oh my heart, say you try so hard

though you try so hard, only go so far

search for an alternative way to be left alone

eyes on the road, eyes on the road

i felt like a human when i asked to hold you close

taking it slow, taking it slow

eyes on the road, eyes on the road

eyes on the road, eyes on the road

you’re not someone i can know

i care a little bit

i swear i saw you glow

young and unassuming wearing all my favorite clothes

far from my home, searching for home

see what's universal, try to feel the cardinal

feeling it pull, feeling it pull

i think we’re full enough, i think we’re full

think we’re both full enough, think we’re both full

you’re not someone i can know

i care a little bit

i swear i saw you glow

is this what i had in mind?

to be completely indifferent is to be completely fine

isn’t that how to feel light?

speak with only intention, say only what's right and true

are you done talking yet?

that’s enough out of you

are you done talking yet?

how can i claim what is mine

when i am constantly changing, constantly dying?

different each day passing by

as are you

are you done talking yet?

that’s enough out of you

are you done talking yet?

so that’s life

it’s just how you spend your time

who you keep by your side

what you like

how you feel after a fight

what you choose to assign

you write cross-eyed, too

I never wanted to be the best

Sounds like a challenge, way too much stress

I take what I want and I leave the rest

I'll keep my promise, leave you on read

Now I'm drowning in the water that I never got in

Now I'm drowning in the water that I never got in

I'm at the circus, I hang my head

Cool on the surface, manual breath

I am the furthest from your intent

What is my purpose and what do I intend?

Now I'm drinking from the water that I never wanted

Now I'm drowning in the water that I never got in

I'm doing the best that I can

Somebody help me understand

I can't figure it out, got no plan

Won't somebody tell me, tell me?

comfort me in ways that feel okay

control me, destroy my defenses

la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-love me

open me, engage all my senses

enter me and leave me defenseless

trust me

am i not loud enough?

comfort me in ways that feel okay

control me, destroy my defenses

love me

balance me, collapse, and breathe in my energy

i ask if you really love me

am I not proud enough?

comfort me,

(comfort me, i need a friend)

come

i’m standing still

at least that’s what they tell me

i’ve been caught in the thrill of adolescence and in that i’m blind

confined to words in my mind, though left unspoken

you read his will

at least he went and left you something

oh in his brilliance, he forgot about his other child

now they’re blindly floating on by with binds still broken

and though his grace is breathing down your spine

i know they’re tryna be something they're not cause they don’t have a mind

though i bet they’ll put up a good fight

i guess you're right

and we’re blindly floating on by

overkill

a cease of condescending glory

i don't even have to try any longer

not that i would put up fights or sacrifice

i’d blindly float by

but i saw them let you sit there drink your wine

let you yell at all the waiters when they wouldn’t serve you soon enough, but i

i couldn't care to live your fine-tuned life

least you’re going out in style

and oh old flame don't burn me twice

we’re finally getting used to your bark and bite

life’s a game, i know you played your cards right

and though his grace is breathing down your spine

i’ll just wait

and i’ll just float on by

why should we be here?

and why not go?

too much to see here

too much to know

but i don't know most anything

living always wondering why we need water and light

i feel enabled to lose control

i should be grateful i’ve a body and a soul

but i don't know most anything

who to ask of anything?

no one really knows

only guesses and hope

hope

if nothing ever mattered

then nothing ever will

accept the ride, swallow your pride

this life we’ve been thrown in

i remember when

i used to think of you when i would go to bed

and every word that you had ever ever said

ran through my head and to my feet

i can't comprehend

i make decisions that i know i will regret

i make it up as i go, hope i make some sense

i hope i don’t forget to breathe

i remember thinking honestly

‘i don't want to feel the heat

i have no heart i hear no beat’

i don't feel the need to be there

i don’t care

i don’t wanna be there

do you know what i mean?

i’m scared

i don’t wanna be there

i don’t wanna be there

i just want to be free

to wander endlessly

feel this sense of dread

it’s washing over me

i try to clear by head or keep it busy

but i’m hanging by a thread

hope i don’t get cut down yet

i beg and i beg and i beg

but i remember thinking honestly

‘i just wanna go to sleep’

i feel my eyes they’re so heavy

i don't feel the need to be there

i don’t care

i don’t wanna be there

do you know what i mean?

i’m scared

i don’t wanna be there

i don’t wanna be there

i just want to be free

to wander endlessly

i know someday we’ll go back there

i know someday we’ll go back

farther and farther i get

far, far from this safety net

memories fade but i can’t forget

“stay in this moment” i said

back when i thought all made sense

i’ve got two homes but i’ve not won yet

i don’t want to feel that way again

holding onto words i never said

when it’s getting cold and the windows wide open

i guess i’m just broken, i feel no wind

breathe in as i take a step

close door, heard you scream, i left

i was so open and you just fell in

i confess i can’t recall, that might be for the best

i don’t want to feel that way again

holding onto words i never meant

words shoved down my throat

said you love me, you don’t

as if you even know how to love a friend

love a friend

i don’t want to feel that way again

holding onto words i never said

when it was so cold all the windows were open

and i was so broken, i felt no wind

i don’t want to be set free

what if i get too happy?

i’m right where i need to be

what if i get too happy?

always have been told that i’ll be fine when i find home. although i fear i’ll make it there and i won’t know that i am there so i will go, and wonder if i am supposed to be happy

i don’t need to feel complete

i don’t think that would please me

i don’t need the rest of me

what if i get too happy?

always thought i’d known that i’d be fine just down the road. although i fear i’ll walk too far and i won’t know when i get there so i will go

and think i’m not where i’m supposed to be

and wonder if i am supposed to be

happy

i spent some time in the passengers side

i let my mind drift away

i closed my eyes, listened close to the tires

roll on the road that was paved

i heard you say

“what a beautiful day”

why? always got an issue

in the back of your mind, a flame

time goes by, what’ll we grow into?

in the blink of an eye, things change

i got a bike and i went for a ride

looked to my left saw a lake

i hit the brake

got off and i gazed

spent so much time tryna walk with no spine

never could seem to stand straight

boy it feels great to stay in one place sometimes

sometimes

why? always got an issue

in the back of your mind, a flame

time goes by, what’ll we grow into?

in the blink of an eye, things change

i was

i was wondering if i could have a moment of your time, ‘cause

i would love to look around, pick up on pieces of your mind, ‘cause

cause it’s good

i was

i was never one to wander ‘cause i always kept my eyes shut

should’ve opened them and seen that everything would line up

i still could

i guess it’s only right of me to heal myself

to look inside of me

but i can’t see, the light is blinding me

don’t leave my side

i’m losing my mind

am i alive? can i put this moment aside?

i’ve lost track of time

is this still worth my while?

am i even alive?

times up

i’ve been talking too much, tell me when you need me to rewind ‘cause

i don’t know what i could find i never find enough

i feel the world is telling me

“straighten your spine, sit up, fix everything

but live your life, mess up, break everything

all in good time, all in good time”

i’m losing my mind

am i alive? can i put this moment aside?

i’ve lost track of time

is this still worth my while?

am i even alive?

oh most of my life i felt so bright, so right

no one told me that i might lose track of time

am i alive? am i?

am i even alive?

am i even alive?

am i even alive?

i walked through the town that i made

passed benches i placed in the shade

thought back to the bricks i had laid

what did i do it all for?

i spoke to some people that came by

showed them some houses, they waved

nobody wanted to stay

what did i do it all for?

you can't imagine all of the work i have done

cross-eyes and spastic, where did it all come from?

now i’ll never match it

what’ll i become?

time passes so i move away

start searching for more empty space

i can’t seem to stay in one place

what if i start to get bored?

wonder if it’s all the same

i fear that i’ll die with my name

if life is all just a game, what are we playing it for?

you can't imagine all of the work i have done

cross-eyes and spastic, where did it all come from?

now i’ll never match it

what’ll i become?

things feel kind of weird these days

found out that i’m so afraid

that i’ll keep going the way i’m going

i’ve tried for the longest time

somehow i’m not timeless

i never meant to spend the night, i never meant to stay

you shut the door, turned out the light, said “go to sleep, dorée”

it was so cold and i was tired, it had been a long day

i closed my eyes and fell asleep, knew it was okay

but i don’t want to go outside

i just need a ride

and i don’t want to get excited yet

laying down in someone else’s bed

never been here, guess i’ll try it

lights go out and i stay silent

i don’t want to get excited yet

you stripped me down, built me back up, i’m built a different way

i lost control, i got in touch and i don’t feel the same

it’s not that bad i’m doing fine i go about my days

only miss you every night and every time i wake

but i don’t want waste your time

i just got too,

too much pride

and i don’t want to get excited yet

laying down in someone else’s bed

in discussion i stay silent , trying to keep an opened mind

but i don’t want to get excited

whichever the way the wind blows, it’s never as windy as it seems

and tell me to get get up lets go, let go but i don’t know what that means

and i don’t want to get excited yet

wait

there’s something in the water

you’re elated, you don’t have to bother

while i’m pacing the room that i should lay

face the monsters in the bottle while i’m awake

my mistake, but i don’t care to explain

til i’m faded and wasting away

mourning the mourning of that day

and i don’t really need another pity cry

or a shitty fight

or a “will you be alright?”

i don’t need nothing, but i know you like to come off as the bigger guy

so take the wheel and drive

and there she goes

this is getting old

traces of broken conversation

“open up more” you said “i won't lose my patience”

then the fog clears out but i’m still underground

under spells of innocence and other things i wish i’d found

oh god, i got so close

the bigger picture never shows the big inflictions i suppose

and i

and i

and i’m wasted and fading away

mourning every morning like today

and i don’t really need another pity cry

or a shitty fight

or a “will you be alright?”

i don’t need nothing, but i know you like

to come off as the bigger guy

so take the wheel and drive

and there she goes

this is getting old

sunday night

too many plants in the garden

oh how’m i gonna sleep tight?

and the wind will blow from the cold window outside

so i go to a fantasy world where time will move on slow

and the sun will shine and all the plants will grow

and i couldn’t show you the right way

cause darling it’s a mystery

but i will hold your hand tight, and soon it’ll be history

but you don't know, cause you’ve always felt alone

but i’m sure i’ll show

just you wait

everything has gotta fall down sometimes

when you pick it up it’ll be worth the fight

and we’re gonna be alright

fire away

times are tough to find a peaceful piece of mind

but i’ll be waiting for you on the other side

and we’re gonna be alright

there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, though it may not be in sight

and the storm will pass and the sky will fill with kites

and i know nothing’s for sure but i think we’ll make it out alive

you can come lean on my shoulder a thousand times

and i couldn’t show you the right way

cause darling it’s a mystery

but i will hold your hand tight, and soon it’ll be history

but you don't know, you’re too far away from home

but i’m sure i’ll show

just you wait

everything has gotta fall down sometimes

when you pick it up it’ll be worth the fight

and we’re gonna be alright

fire away

times are tough to find a peaceful piece of mind

but i’ll be waiting for you on the other side

and we’re gonna be alright

laid down and strung out, no control, but doing fine

preoccupied with hoping that i

take back the confidence i had when i was 5

un - jeopardized alone in my mind

i’m at a loss see, i don’t want to be disembodied

i would rather stay inside

or whisper softly, “i just wanted to be somebody” right before i close my eyes

i don’t wanna let that slide

i’m fine watching them fall in line so unidentified

i know better, i don’t wanna die yet

when i go i’ll leave behind part of my state of mind

or else what a waste of time

i know better, i don’t recognize myself

i know i sound entitled, well you’ll see me on the other side

stay sound asleep as i see everything go out of style

i keep opening doors, and i’ll leave them wide open, leave them behind

and it’s all in my head and i shouldn’t be envious, all i know is i’m still paralyzed i can’t waste my time

they’re drinking coffee and conversing about their hobbies things that make them feel alive

and sounding cocky as the say it’s worth it for the money

i don’t wanna live that life

i don’t wanna let that slide

i’m fine watching them fall in line so unidentified

i know better, i don’t wanna die yet when i go i’ll leave behind

part of my state of mind

or else what a waste of time

i know better, i don’t recognize myself

i know i sound entitled, fine with me you’ll see me on the other side

i know i sound entitled, fine with me you’ll see me on the other side

i’m not ready to say i know

what the future will hold

‘cause we don’t know

i’m ready to go

conversations embrace my bones

so magnetic i feel that i can’t go

you’re lucky you’re home

i’ve been keeping thoughts in

i can feel you

breathing

beating

sleeping

i don’t wanna see this out yet

waste something beautiful

i don’t wanna play that card yet rather we bleed to the bone

it’s just a matter of time til the stars unalign

but all that i know is it’s worth half a fight or so

and you’ve got me

copacetic and so indulgent

wandering, wondering just how time it goes so quickly

we’ll never know

need we wait til the birds have flown?

hold my breath as i pray that this won’t fold

i’m ready to go

and since i’ve been pulled in

how am i supposed to leave you?

your skin encompasses all that i needed to know

i don’t wanna see this out yet

waste something beautiful

i don’t wanna play that card yet rather see this one cold

i know that all will be fine

and it’s not worth me trying

just how to define what a word can't describe

and you know that you’ve got me

i don’t wanna see this out yet

waste something beautiful

i don’t wanna play that card yet rather see this cold

maybe i’m out of my mind and its not worth our time

but all that i know is that something feels right

and you know

you’ve got me

i could really use a miracle

have a spirit call me on my way

where’s the pot of gold?

this has gotten old

i pray you’re unbreakable

my body’s shaking but you’re barely one to blame

i’ve been feeling kind of cynical

at the pinnacle of my mistake

baby light the load

i can take the high road

wade on the brink of always and unthinkable

always seems the same

but i don’t really know

i don’t really care

i don’t wanna blow up but you know i’ll always be there

dare me to share what i carry

and lose to your prayer

i should’ve listened to what i’d been told

a city of gold is no home for holding onto your throne

and now that we’re grown

i’m over the hopeful tone

you’re not my own!

but that's a pretty low blow

i didn’t wanna play it back, i tried to block the fact you’d be the one to fuck me up like that

my bad you’re just a passing fad

i know i helped cast the shadow

and down below i felt you holding on the rope that i had dropped

no control, i forgot

so go

and i’ll pay the fare

as long as you’re home and i’m safe under someone else's care

be a burden to bury

i’m sure you’re nowhere

and baby sure enough there’s no repair

unpredictable

i warned you i won’t be there

cause i’m not holding onto you anymore

and i won’t fold

and i’m not yours

what’s more?

why don’t you know?

and why don’t you care?

and why won’t i blow up

for god's sake i think it’s only fair

you’re a burden to bury

i’m lost in your prayer

i don’t wanna dominate the conversation

i don’t wanna get inside your head and make you worry but i guess i made you

pardon my imagination

pay no mind, just validation

i don’t need a reformation

i don’t know why

i don’t mean to complicate i know that you can’t relate

hide my head hide my face i don’t wanna be seen any way

and someone take me far away oh somewhere less self deprecating

i don’t need to be this way

don’t know why

and it might not be the last time

i’ll lose my mind again, again

waiting for the train i wonder whether it’s worth it

i’m out of water and the words are growing harder

but i know i gotta bother with another conversation i’m insatiable

i shouldn’t let me let you go

i couldn't let me let you go

hide my face and bite my tongue

i don’t know what’s going on

and i hope it’s not the last time

i don’t know why my friend

i remain frozen

speaking inverses stuck in rhyme

i couldn’t lie

i couldn’t lie

as i indulge in people and places so nearby

i wouldn’t try

i couldn’t lie

and it sure feels like the last time

i don't know why my friend, my friend

i don't know why my friend, my friend

i keep on thinking that i might be alright if i give it time

i keep on thinking that i know what’s right, but i don’t know why

i’ll start a sentence but i can’t get it out

cannot speak my mind

and then it’s over and i’m frozen don’t know how i could say goodbye

and i could tell you i’m terrified

i know we’re only getting older until we die

but i find i’m undignified

i’ve lost control

i’ve lost my reason why

i’ve lost my appetite

but i’m still eating

i should be far away or far behind

where’s my friend tonight?

and i don’t wanna fight

where’s the silver lining?

only in my dreams am i breathing fine

so goodbye

hope you sleep tonight

i don’t want to be set free

what if i get too happy?

i’m right where i need to be

what if i get too happy?

always have been told that i’ll be fine when i find home. although i fear i’ll make it there and i won’t know that i am there so i will go, and wonder if i am supposed to be happy

i don’t need to feel complete

i don’t think that would please me

i don’t need the rest of me

what if i get too happy?

always thought i’d known that i’d be fine just down the road. although i fear i’ll walk too far and i won’t know when i get there so i will go

and think i’m not where i’m supposed to be

and wonder if i am supposed to be

happy

walked this line

so many times

it was so familiar

let my pride

leave me a guide

thinking that i could trust

it’s time to send my body home

i’m so tired

of thinking that i

thinking that i killed ya

took some time

letting you die

letting myself build up

it’s time to let my body go

it’s time to let my body go

cleaning out my closet i had filled it with your bones

thinking if i tossed it i would lose a sense of home

what should i do with all these skeletons? they’re blocking all my clothes

i gotta let it go now

walked this road

i loved it so

something that had grown love

though i know

tied to a rope

this road i had to rid of

it’s time to send my body home

it’s time to let my body grow

cleaning out my closet i had filled it with your bones

thinking if i locked it i’d forget they’re in my home

what should i do with all these skeletons? they’re blocking all my clothes

i gotta let it go now

i gotta let it go now